Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I need water and some morals
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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