and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think my mom watched the whole time
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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