Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
