Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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