his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
