Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
