As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need to calm my uterus...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize