I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
