AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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