God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
