My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
