hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
