hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
