im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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