so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize