butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
