Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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