So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
