just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
