I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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