I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
