just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize