Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
