That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
