Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
