Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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