I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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