i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
