and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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