hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize