she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need water and some morals
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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