I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
