a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
