haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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