Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Randomize
