But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
