I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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