If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
