D3 body, D1 cock
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
