I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
