how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
