YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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