so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
