According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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