Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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