the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
