Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she told me i tasted like america
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize