Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
