My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
