he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
