After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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