last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
